So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
