Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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