Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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