i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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