It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
