You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
