I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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