Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
