Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Vodka?
Forever.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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