Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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