For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize