I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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