this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
sex in a hospital.. check
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
