dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
