my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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