I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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