Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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