All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
