ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize