I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
My friends, they love my intelligence
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Randomize
