If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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