She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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