Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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