dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
