seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
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