did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
