If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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