let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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