Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
