the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
