So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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