This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
