She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Randomize
