I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
