Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
