oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
