Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
