have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
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