I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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