I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
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i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
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my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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