I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize