She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
