What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
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Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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