can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
My first STD was from a foam party
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
