Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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