yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
