how hairy? two words: wookie tits
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
