he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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