I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize