he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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