Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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