His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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