He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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