ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
