guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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