Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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