You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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