dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
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I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize